The worst lounge act ever

Currently, I am staying at the Trader's Hotel in Diera. It is comparative of a Hyatt regency and all in all a very nice hotel. Pool, jacuzzi and a very nice gym are included for all guests and the food menu is reasonably well prepared although it is not all that extensive. The weekends here occur on Thursday and Friday and it was a a Friday evening that I decided to stroll down to the hotel lounge that boasted live entertainment every evening.
I walked in and got myself a table in a corner with my back to the wall and my eyes on the stage. I ordered up a Pint of Stella and lit a cigar. Relaxed and optimistic I gazed upon a white suited piano player and three frontline girls dressed formally in evening gowns. Two of them were very attractive and the third was a very sturdy looking saxophone player. The waitress set me up with a napkin and some chips and the band began to play. They had a little "sway from left to right" choreography and I thought it might be going somewhere but it didn't. After the third song I realized they were playing American pop hits. I was amazed it took three songs for me to figure this out. A big part of it was their diction or lack of it. The music was being butchered to unforgivable extremes and I don't think the pre-Columbus world was ever flatter than these vocalists.
Around the time my third beer and second cigar had past I realized I was openly laughing at how terrible they were. Ever the optimist, I had turned yet another disappointment into a comedic opportunity. Admittedly, My mind did wander for a few seconds. And I thought about putting the old band together. I figure if these guys were getting paid to play we could be music gods in Dubai.
I decided to get out of there before I inadvertently hurt some feelings or actually called my old band mates.
I'll post some pictures of this act later and I will be pushing for an international task force to bring them to justice.